I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
