We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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