wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You can't special order awesome
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
