Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize