sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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