yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
