i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
