SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
