I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
