after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
