I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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