I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
