his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
