you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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