we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize