I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
