Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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