Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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