I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
