The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
3 2 1 whiskey
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
