If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
