I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
