Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
