Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
