Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize