I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
