We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize