Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
