I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
