You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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