Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
