this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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