I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize