I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Send help, water and tortillas.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize