Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
