Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you win again, gameday.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
