he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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