and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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