Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
