lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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