i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize