the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
