I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize