So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Pooping to opera.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
