I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
