Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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