they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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