i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
