We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
