I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
