YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
