About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
