This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
