We won't sleep together?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
