Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
