I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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