using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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