dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
