Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
