She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
