I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
