I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
