worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
