I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
