i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
