I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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