THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How's work?
Spinning.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
