Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
