Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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