were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
