so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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