physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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