You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
