I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
