i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
