I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
