you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
