Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
